Best Of Created

Mashup: Closer To Business Time

In one hypothetical hand, I hold an instrumental version of Trent Reznor’s seminal (ha!) single, *Closer*. The original is directly sexual and raw. It continues to have one of the most familiar refrains in recent musical history – you know, the one about, er, doing things to people like an animal and feeling them from the inside.

(Warning: the song and the video, embedded below, are NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Also, do not play this if there are children in the area. Not because I don’t want them to see and/or hear it, but I don’t want to be held responsible if you hit the play button.)

In my other hypothetical hand, I hold the original staged version of *Business Time* by New Zealand’s fourth most popular folk rock parody band, *Flight Of The Conchords*. Never has the actual process of lovemaking been so accurately described.

(Strangely, the video for *Business Time* is flagged on YouTube, but the video for *Closer* is not.)

You can see where this is going, I’m sure. And certainly this hilarious photoshopped image will make it even clearer.

I would traditionally use this paragraph to half-heartedly apologize for ruining perfectly good songs in my mashups. Mocking my usual inability to find appropriate loops or sighing about parts where the track trainwreck, I would try to lower expectations.

Not this time. This one came out pretty well.

DOWNLOAD: Nine Inch Conchords – Closer To Business Time

(For the technically inclined, this was done in a very uncomplicated manner in Ableton Suite 7.)


Good God Given

Back in 2004, a Nickelback MP3 made the rounds of the webinets. This was not your typical Nickelback MP3 – or perhaps it was doubly typical. With one Nickelback song in the left channel, and another in the right channel, it mashed into itself beautifully. It was an indictment against formulaic pop music, presented simply and plainly. As Ryan at Dead Parrot Society [wrote](

> The mesh is freakishly, almost unbelievably, perfect.

It was referred to at least once as “musical incest”. The idea of doing such a mashup has never left my brain.

Today, I was listening to [Year Zero](, the latest Nine Inch Nails album. I haven’t listened to the album enough to have formed a complete opinion on it, so I’m still in the “feeling it out” stage. While I’ve started having a few songs grow on me, something felt off, and I tried to put my finger on what. And then I realized that I was having a hard time telling two songs apart.

Twenty minutes in Live made the point even more defined than I could imagine.

This isn’t a finished bootleg – I don’t know if I’ll complete it, to be honest. It’s also not as straightforward as the Nickelback mash was – some instrumental sections are looped to start the vocals at the same point, and there’s a little bit of an edit going into the chorus. Still, I think it gets the point across pretty well.

On the left channel: Nine Inch Nails’ “The Good Soldier”.

On the right channel: Nine Inch Nails’ “God Given”.

Constructed in Live 6, BPM set to 100.

Pop on some headphones and enjoy.

**Download**: Nine Inch Nails vs. Nine Inch Nails – Good God Given (Conceptual Edit)


Gentlemen – BEHOLD!

Over the last week, an acquaintance posted Kurt Vonnegut’s Rules For Short Story Writing. Number 7 starts with “Write to please just one person.”

This is not a short story, nor a short film, nor anything that could really be treated as art. This is another stupid mashup. But if it pleases just one person, I will feel at least mildly pleased.

Last week, Katie and I went to see [Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters]( I will spare you more of a review than to say that if you’ve ever liked ATHF, you will enjoy this movie. And if you haven’t ever watched ATHF, or have never enjoyed it, you will hate this movie.

Anyhow. During the movie, a plot device of the movie is nearly always accompanied by a somewhat catchy dance tune. I checked the soundtrack after returning home, and the song is titled “I Like Your Booty (But I’m Not Gay)”.

The following bullet points explain my train of thought after learning this.

* That’s fucking hilarious. And this song IS good.
* You know, the beat is pretty well defined. This would be easily manipulated by most music programs.
* This is easy mashup material. But what do I mash it with? What’s a song I won’t mind ruining?
* Of course. Daisuke.

[Daisuke]( may be the most joked about Beatmania IIDX song in history, largely due to its over-the-top para para video.

I loaded everything into my freshly upgraded Ableton Live 6, and started hacking the bones. Fifty minutes later, I had compelling evidence that I need help.

So, ladies and gentlemen: I give you Insane-O-Flex vs. Y&Co. I give you my seventh (good lord) mashup. I give you…

I Like Your Booty, But Daisuke

Previous Bemani-related mashups:

* [The Bingo Roaster](
* [Night Of QQQ](
* [Tracing Your Deadlines](
* [Valesynctorian](
* [Let Them Dunk](
* [TEXTURE66](