Category: Created

In one hypothetical hand, I hold an instrumental version of Trent Reznor’s seminal (ha!) single, *Closer*. The original is directly sexual and raw. It continues to have one of the most familiar refrains in recent musical history – you know, the one about, er, doing things to people like an animal and feeling them from the inside.

(Warning: the song and the video, embedded below, are NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Also, do not play this if there are children in the area. Not because I don’t want them to see and/or hear it, but I don’t want to be held responsible if you hit the play button.)

In my other hypothetical hand, I hold the original staged version of *Business Time* by New Zealand’s fourth most popular folk rock parody band, *Flight Of The Conchords*. Never has the actual process of lovemaking been so accurately described.

(Strangely, the video for *Business Time* is flagged on YouTube, but the video for *Closer* is not.)

You can see where this is going, I’m sure. And certainly this hilarious photoshopped image will make it even clearer.

I would traditionally use this paragraph to half-heartedly apologize for ruining perfectly good songs in my mashups. Mocking my usual inability to find appropriate loops or sighing about parts where the track trainwreck, I would try to lower expectations.

Not this time. This one came out pretty well.

DOWNLOAD: Nine Inch Conchords – Closer To Business Time

(For the technically inclined, this was done in a very uncomplicated manner in Ableton Suite 7.)