Categories
Created Puzzled Over

Newspaper Of Record

Via Slice:

**Detroit Free Press: [Feel like a Domino’s pizza? Order it online](http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070731/BUSINESS/70731027)**

Newspaper Of Record
A One Act Play
Based On Imagined But Plausible Events
By Dan Dickinson

CURTAIN UP:

INT. DETROIT FREE PRESS NEWSROOM. SUMMER, 2007

THREE REPORTERS sit at desks in an otherwise empty newsroom. They all intently stare at their computers. A clock audibly ticks.

REPORTER A sighs, stands up, and stretches to crack his back.

REPORTER A Hey, what have you guys got for stories today?


REPORTER B (barely looking up) I got nothing.


REPORTER C Me neither.


REPORTER A kicks the air.

REPORTER A (sighing) God damnit. We need to put something in the paper today. Can't have a paper without stories!


REPORTER B Yeah, yeah, we know.


REPORTER C (checking his watch) Hey, it's almost lunch time. Whatdya guys want?


REPORTER A We did chinese yesterday - how about pizza. Maybe some Dominos.


REPORTER B Alright, let me order it online.


REPORTER C (slightly astonished) Wow, I didn't know you could order Dominos online.


There is a BEAT.

REPORTER A (putting finger into the air and yelling triumphantly) PRINT IT!


CURTAIN FALLS.

FIN.
Categories
Debated Puzzled Over

Take Two’s Fifty Million Dollar Hat

Moneyhats. The phrase is frequently thrown around in gaming circles when it comes to exclusivity deals; the origin is [a Penny Arcade strip](http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2000/10/23) from October of 2000:

These sorts of deals are becoming more and more commonplace, and this week has had a whopper of one: Take Two announced that the “episodic content” for GTAIV will be exclusive to the Xbox 360.

Never keep Occam’s Razor far from you. As GAF user sangreal [discovered](http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=6754804&postcount=375) in [a transcript of the recent Take Two earnings call](http://seekingalpha.com/article/38017), the simplest solution still is the most worthwhile one:

*Evan Wilson – Pacific Crest Securities*
>Thank you. And as it relates to the deferred revenue chunk associated with the episodic content on X-Box 360, you can see that $25 million of that moved into short-term deferred. Could you give us any sense of when that’s going to hit the P&L? Will we see $25 million at one time and then the second 25 or will it be a slow bleed?

*Lainie Goldstein – Chief Financial Officer, Take Two*
>The first 25 is for the first episodic content package that’s supposed to go out and that is in March of ’08. That’s why it moved into current because it’s in the next 12 months. The second 25 will be for the second episodic, the episode, and that will be later in fiscal ’08.

Repeat: These two exclusive content packs cost Microsoft a combined $50,000,000 to secure.

I am obviously in the wrong business.

Categories
Disliked Puzzled Over

Are You McLovin?

Today, I was talking to [Matty](http://www.capndesign.com/) about [Superbad](http://www.areyousuperbad.com/). So sure, the original trailer is great, but the “red band trailer” (distinguished by the red MPAA screen) is fantastic, possibly even the stuff of legend.

But [the YouTube link](http://youtube.com/watch?v=FPc28FASaEE) I had posted before has been pulled. Now, seemingly, the only way to get at it was through the official site’s [age verification section](http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/superbad/site/agegate/index.html).

An abridged list of things we’ve learned on the Internet in the last ten years:

* CAPTCHAs don’t work.
* Cats are simultaneously hilarious and adorable.
* Anti-spam methods don’t work.
* Talking like an idiot never goes out of style.
* Age verification methods don’t work.

I’d like to focus on the last one, obviously.

The form to verify your age looks something like this:

The fine print on the same page reads:

>I understand that I am allowed to enter the Restricted Area only if I am 18 years or older and have a valid driver’s license. To verify my age, I hereby authorize Verification Financial Assurance Corporation (“VeriFAC”) to confirm the accuracy of the information I have provided against government-issued records. I acknowledge that the information I am providing on this page will not be collected by Sony and that it will only be accessed and used by VeriFAC to verify my age and for no other purposes.

So you have to have a driver’s license and be 18 or older. It would be easy to question the wisdom of forcing people to have a license to operate a motor vehicle to view an awesome movie trailer, but let’s not argue with that decision. It’s not like kids could just use their parents details – no kid under 18 knows their parents first *and* last names, let alone their birth day and their zip code. That’s some strong four-factor authentication.

Anyhow, the truly amusing part for me is that so much of the original trailer revolves around one character (Fogell, played by the incredibly named Christopher Mintz-Plasse) getting a fake ID with the name “McLovin” on it.

In what may be the greatest wasted opportunity in movie web site hisotry, the form does not successfully validate if you use a last name of “McLovin”, with a birth date of 06/03/1981 and a zip code of 96820. You get an error complaining that you didn’t fill out the first name field. Jesus, people, don’t you get it? He doesn’t even *have* a first name. HE **IS** McLOVIN.

I guess all you kids under 18 are out of luck if you want to watch [the red band trailer](http://flash.sonypictures.com/video/movies/superbad/site/SB_redband.flv), and you’ll have to wait till you’re older to see the DVD of what may be the greatest summer movie of all time. Sucks to be you, kids.

Sucks to be you.