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Porn Day

As you might know if you’re in the cross-section of my readers who know me primarily through my work, we’ve been working on a kid’s webbrowser called BumperCar. It has been an interesting change of pace from the usual games, and has led us into directions we’re not used to going.

We’re currently in late beta, nearly ready to go Final Candidate. But we haven’t internally really beaten on the protection lately, and we’ve certainly been curious as to how it would fair against a kid desperate to see boobs.

So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Ian declared that Monday will be porn day – where we all sit down with the browser and try and find as much porn as possible while under kid protection. Prizes may be awarded.

Sometimes I wonder how on earth my life can be so weird. This is one of those times.

NOTE: I know some people will take it upon themselves to send me some links. I must politely decline on two grounds. One, it defeats the purpose of me trying to find it. Two, I know the kind of stuff some of you look at and it creeps the hell out of me.

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Review: V-Rare 5

This is the musical review of the CD that comes with MAX2JP. Standard 1-100 scale. (50 is average, 60 means it ends up on my main playlist, over 80 means it ends up on my “really good” playlist.) Reviews are written while I’m listening to the song.

Kind Lady (Long Edit)

Kind Lady has always been one of those songs that feels like it COULD be good but never actually IS. This mix – which essentially combines the Rough Instrumental Interlude from V-Rare 1 and the original and then extends the hell out of it – finally makes it feel complete. Even with the weird breakdown near the end, it feels complete enough to get a 62/100 from me.

Do It Right (Harmonized 2Step Mix Long)

This game-length version sort of warmed me up to the song in general, but didn’t do as much for me as the 80’s Electro mix. This version…it takes a minute and a half to get to anything resembling “2step”. I’m unfortunately getting burned out on the lyrics, since no one seems to have the decency to even cut-and-paste it in a different order like they did for Burnin’ The Floor. I could live without this. 48/100.

Look To The Sky (Extended Trance Mix)

Nearly 6 minutes of the Oni course mix from MAX2CS. I forget who said it (probably Reo), but if they had left the vocals out, this would be PERFECT. Like, I love the non-vocal parts, but as soon as “Anna” comes in, I cringe – partially Kyle Snyder’s fault. Squeaks by with a 60/100.

Feelings Won’t Fade (Extended Trance Mix)

And this is entirely new. And holy crap, it’s almost like exactly what I was asking for last time. System SF trance, only without any vocals! Woo! (Edit: I realized where this is from – this is the end credit music from MAX2CS. Still, it rocks.) 70/100.

Kind Lady (Future Trance Mix)

And while we’re in the trance section, let’s see how this works out. Apparently Konami wants Kind Lady to be the new overplayed song of the decade. This sounds more like the intro to Jump by Van Halen than Trance…oh there we go. Ooh, crazy vocal loopage…and wow. It doesn’t feel like a perfect fit, but it works really well. Okay, well, this little breakdown is meh…ooh, but back to the good stuff. It gets a little electro here and there. My one complaint is that the refrain hits with minimal build a couple of times – but the one right at the end is solid. 82/100.

Midnite Blaze (SySF Mix)

And this will be a really tough sell because I HATE Midnite Blaze. Harder than the rest of the trance we’ve heard thus far. The rap part vocals are put through some filter, and again we’re going more towards electro than Trance. It’s a little uneven, but it’s good enough for science. 60/100.

Glacial (Radio Edit)

Hey, welcome to Diversionville! Population, Riyu! And, uh, wait, this is Hyper Eurobeat in Japanese. It works a little better than the KILL ME NOW do-over that Dive Into The Night turned into. Outside of Riyu, Naoki sounds like he’s having an indentity crisis. Apparently he got bored of just doing Eurobeat, so now he’s merging BeForU Breakdown-style guitars with the “thoughtful piano” from the Naoki Underground stuff. But then we start getting everything all at once, and it’s just a mess. Decent, but not good enough to make the rotation – 55/100.

i feel…(New Age Hope Mix)

They weren’t kidding about the New Age part. Okay, so V-Rare 1 ended with the piano version of Memories, where Paula Terry proved she could actually do alright without The Hyper Eurobeat Machine behind her. This is some piano and the “I FeeeEEEEEEEllllll iiiiittttt” vocal bit over it and overlayed on itself a bit. Again, Kyle Snyder ruined this for me, but Kyle cannot entirely be blamed, because this sucks. 41/100.

Overall consensus: Good enough!

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Endured Narrated

Kevin Smith Wrapup

My long-winded summary of the Kevin Smith show follows below for the enjoyment of those who could not be there, and for the scanning of their own names for those people that were.