At long last, banners.

As you’ve probably noticed, there are now banner ads on all my pages.
Before you start bitching – none of the current ads are paid. I’m simply
doing them as a service to the other sites that make my days

Paid ads will come up eventually, but I want to firmly limit what ads
show up on my page. I don’t like this flashing WINNER bullshit things.

Oh, if I know you, and you want an ad up here, talk to me. I’m sure we
can work something out.

Welcome to Slope Day

The Sun has learned that several thousand students will gather today to
“party” on Libe Slope in what is apparently a celebration of the last
day of classes.

The all-day event – known as “Slope Day Festival” – will involve
students “getting wrecked,” according to many who plan to attend.
Expectations have been rising for weeks, prompting the attention of
local as well as national figures.

Noted late-80s hair metal god Jani Lane, lead vocalist of “Cherry Pie”
band Warrant, voiced frustrations over having to miss the event.
“Fuck North Carolina, man,” he said, referring to the band’s next
scheduled tour date. “I want to be here tomorrow.”

Indeed, many Ithacans expressed similar sentiments. “Me and Kelli met up
with some boys from I.C., and they were pretty cute,” said one Ithaca
High School sophomore who wished to remain anonymous, as she would “get
in, like, real trouble for this.”

Local beverage outlets have reported a boom in sales over the past few

“I’ve never seen it like this before,” said one employee, who wished to
remain anonymous. “I know there’s nothing to do here but drink yourself
silly, but this is out of control.”

Curiously, there has been no corresponding increase in the sales on
non-alcoholic beverages and unsalted snack food.

Even those with counterfeit identification cards have had “no problem”
purchasing alcohol.

The Sun attempted to contact the administration regarding the expected
event, but it was getting late.

According to several students on campus, this celebration on the slope
has been occurring since “forever.”


“Last year, I got so wasted that I had kind of a headache the next day,”
said a sophomore who wished to remain anonymous. The sophomore reassured
The Sun that the headache subsided “after a few hours.”


One professor – who wished to remain anonymous – commented on the ritual
significance of the annual event.

“Coming so soon after May Day, we can see Slope Day as an analogue to
ancient celebrations of spring harvests and the rebirth of nature. When
students imbibe on Slope Day, they pay homage to the sacred bounties of
Mother Earth. It’s quite wonderful, really,” he said.

He added: “And it’s pretty killer when you get a buzz before 10 a.m.”

(Gracefully yoinked from the Cornell Daily Sun, May 5 2000. Much
respect to Matt Laflin, Farhad Manjoo, Mike Sharp and Joe Turk for
getting me to laugh so hard at 9 AM)

Content! And stuff!

So if you go peek in the reviews section, I just threw up three more
reviews – one show, two movies. Hope they’re somewhat useful to you.
Also, the Method Man MCFAB show was last night, and I’ll have the
hellacious review for you later. There’s also a couple more movies and
games I can review.
I hope to set up a store section soon where I can put referrer links and
whatnot. I could use a little extra moolah.
Oh, and I should have some silly Freeverse MP3s later on this month.
Stay tuned.

FVPE .1a released

Well, it finally happened – I wrote a piece of software that was
vagually useful and now it’s available to the public. FVPE, the
Freeverse Puppet Editor, will eventually be a full-fledged puppet
editor, but for now just lets you tweak puppets for Freeverse’s card
games. You can download it here if you’re into that sort of

Oh, and the quotefile was updated a little bit, so check that out.

Reviews Section

Hey, I figured it was as good a time as any. In the new exciting header,
you’ll find a link to my new reviews section, where I’ll eventually be
putting all kinds of fun stuff for you to read. It’s in the CRZ style,
so take note of that now.

If there’s anything you really want to see reviewed, let me know and
I’ll do my best, I guess.

Movie Review: Death Race 2000

(Note: In an effort to do more content, anything vagually interesting I
see/hear/play/go to will now get a review. I know you’re excited.)

Death Race 2000 (1975) stars David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone. It
was made on a $300,000 budget. The concept is that in the year 2000,
there is a transcontinental race where points are awarded for the more
pedestrians you kill.

It sounds bad because it is. It was terrible. From the indescribable
soundtrack, to the cheesy lines (“A lot of people think you’re cute, but
I just think you’re a big baked potato.”), to the numerous continuity
errors, to the traps straight out of a Road Runner cartoon, this movie
is terrible.

It’s also the funniest movie I’ve seen in the past year. I almost pissed
myself with laughter. Big thumbs up for nothing more than its pure

Hmm, I think it’s time to make a new logo…

Rainy Saturday Afternoon Updates

Well, it’s Saturday, and it’s raining, so I’m inherently bored. What to

Well, first off, Neil Marcus has protested a lack of updates (mostly for
his quotes) on the quotefile, so there’s a couple new quotes there.
Disregard the number at the top, it’s innacurate these days.

Also, the Bank of W-Up Mountain W-Up Credit Union (an
equal-opportunity W-Up lender) has hit its potential max for funds; we
fit 108 cans of soda in the fridge today. Pictures later so you can see
what we do for fun at Cornell.

Oh God, Not Again

Yes folks, it’s quite possibly my least favorite day of the year. Why do
I not like April Fools day at all? Because over the past couple of
years, *everyone* feels the need to pull jokes, to the point where the
world is so fucking oversaturated with jokes that nothing legitimate can
get done.

I have nothing against the jokes, but when you see a million press
releases go up, and you see the words “SHOCKING NEWS” fifty times, you
just have to roll your eyes and go Bah(tm). And because of that, any
even slightly legitimate news will be completely ignored. So, in effect,
nothing can happen today. It’s a day completely lost from the year.
Example: Last night, while pacing around aimlessly for CourseEnroll (and
yes, I got all my classes in just fine, thank you), I wondered into the
Friedland/Cross compound and saw an email from one Michael Suttles. The
email said that he was going to be transfering to UT Austin. The first
words out of my mouth were, “It’s April Fools Day.”

But what if Mike IS transfering to UT Austin? I was contemplating
transfering for most of last semester. Do we all brush off everything
today just because we don’t want to feel like a jackass?

Enough ranting from me, I feel like Mike Jasper. Oh, if you’ve got
cash kicking around, get the MDFMK CD, it’s quite swank.

Struggling with the dark and responding to the light.