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Let’s Have A High Party

I’m looking at another day to find that I’ve got nothing to say
Or I’m looking for another way to process what happened on that birthday
And either way, if you’re gonna call it art
Then there’s a cup in front of you and right away
If you’re gonna play your part, you must drink it down
But mind eyes have seen the glory
Of the fields of flowers and factory floors
And my mind’s content to lie at rest for hours
Behind my loved ones’ doors and if there’s a war
Another shitty war to fight for babylon
Then it’s the perfect storm in a tea cup
But you must drink it down

And what do you make of the nights
When you thought you’d make much more
Than being too tired to turn the lights out
And too drunk to drink more?
And what does it take to not hear the cynics at your door saying
“It’s time the turn the lights out, and you’ll want to keep it down!”

So I’m lifting up that poison cup to drink a draught of propaganda
Or I’m giving up that other stuff in hopes that it will make me madder
But either way, if you’re gonna call it art
Then there’s a cup in front of you and right away
If you’re gonna play your part
You must drink it down

And what do you make of nights
When you thought you’d make much more
Than being too tired to turn the lights out
And too drunk to drink more?
And what does it take to not hear the cynics at your door saying
“It’s time the turn the lights out, and you’ll want to keep it down!”

And what does it say of all the things you’ve said before
When you’re too drunk to turn the lights out
And too tired to drink more?

And what do you save, and what does it feel like to be saved?
And can you “pull – 2 – 3 – 4! pull – 2 – 3 – 4!”
Can you drink it down?

Happy birthday, Ted.

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Enjoyed

Olbermann Knocks It Out Of The Park

That subversion I was talking about yesterday? It doesn’t have to be sarcastic or shocking.
Sometimes the truth is more than enough.

(If you’re reading this via syndication or LiveJournal, click here for the video.)
The full transcript – and I apologize about the length, but this needs to be read – is courtesy of MSNBC:

The man who sees absolutes, where all other men see nuances and shades of meaning, is either a prophet, or a quack.

Donald H. Rumsfeld is not a prophet.

Mr. Rumsfeld’s remarkable speech to the American Legion yesterday demands the deep analysis — and the sober contemplation — of every American.

For it did not merely serve to impugn the morality or intelligence — indeed, the loyalty — of the majority of Americans who oppose the transient occupants of the highest offices in the land. Worse, still, it credits those same transient occupants — our employees — with a total omniscience; a total omniscience which neither common sense, nor this administration’s track record at home or abroad, suggests they deserve.

Dissent and disagreement with government is the life’s blood of human freedom; and not merely because it is the first roadblock against the kind of tyranny the men Mr. Rumsfeld likes to think of as “his” troops still fight, this very evening, in Iraq.

It is also essential. Because just every once in awhile it is right and the power to which it speaks, is wrong.

In a small irony, however, Mr. Rumsfeld’s speechwriter was adroit in invoking the memory of the appeasement of the Nazis. For in their time, there was another government faced with true peril — with a growing evil — powerful and remorseless.

That government, like Mr. Rumsfeld’s, had a monopoly on all the facts. It, too, had the “secret information.” It alone had the true picture of the threat. It too dismissed and insulted its critics in terms like Mr. Rumsfeld’s — questioning their intellect and their morality.

That government was England’s, in the 1930s.

It knew Hitler posed no true threat to Europe, let alone England.

It knew Germany was not re-arming, in violation of all treaties and accords.

It knew that the hard evidence it received, which contradicted its own policies, its own conclusions — its own omniscience — needed to be dismissed.

The English government of Neville Chamberlain already knew the truth.

Most relevant of all — it “knew” that its staunchest critics needed to be marginalized and isolated. In fact, it portrayed the foremost of them as a blood-thirsty war-monger who was, if not truly senile, at best morally or intellectually confused.

That critic’s name was Winston Churchill.

Sadly, we have no Winston Churchills evident among us this evening. We have only Donald Rumsfelds, demonizing disagreement, the way Neville Chamberlain demonized Winston Churchill.

History — and 163 million pounds of Luftwaffe bombs over England — have taught us that all Mr. Chamberlain had was his certainty — and his own confusion. A confusion that suggested that the office can not only make the man, but that the office can also make the facts.

Thus, did Mr. Rumsfeld make an apt historical analogy.

Excepting the fact, that he has the battery plugged in backwards.

His government, absolute — and exclusive — in its knowledge, is not the modern version of the one which stood up to the Nazis.

It is the modern version of the government of Neville Chamberlain.

But back to today’s Omniscient ones.

That, about which Mr. Rumsfeld is confused is simply this: This is a Democracy. Still. Sometimes just barely.

And, as such, all voices count — not just his.

Had he or his president perhaps proven any of their prior claims of omniscience — about Osama Bin Laden’s plans five years ago, about Saddam Hussein’s weapons four years ago, about Hurricane Katrina’s impact one year ago — we all might be able to swallow hard, and accept their “omniscience” as a bearable, even useful recipe, of fact, plus ego.

But, to date, this government has proved little besides its own arrogance, and its own hubris.

Mr. Rumsfeld is also personally confused, morally or intellectually, about his own standing in this matter. From Iraq to Katrina, to the entire “Fog of Fear” which continues to envelop this nation, he, Mr. Bush, Mr. Cheney, and their cronies have — inadvertently or intentionally — profited and benefited, both personally, and politically.

And yet he can stand up, in public, and question the morality and the intellect of those of us who dare ask just for the receipt for the Emporer’s New Clothes?

In what country was Mr. Rumsfeld raised? As a child, of whose heroism did he read? On what side of the battle for freedom did he dream one day to fight? With what country has he confused the United States of America?

The confusion we — as its citizens — must now address, is stark and forbidding.

But variations of it have faced our forefathers, when men like Nixon and McCarthy and Curtis LeMay have darkened our skies and obscured our flag. Note — with hope in your heart — that those earlier Americans always found their way to the light, and we can, too.

The confusion is about whether this Secretary of Defense, and this administration, are in fact now accomplishing what they claim the terrorists seek: The destruction of our freedoms, the very ones for which the same veterans Mr. Rumsfeld addressed yesterday in Salt Lake City, so valiantly fought.

And about Mr. Rumsfeld’s other main assertion, that this country faces a “new type of fascism.”

As he was correct to remind us how a government that knew everything could get everything wrong, so too was he right when he said that — though probably not in the way he thought he meant it.

This country faces a new type of fascism – indeed.

Although I presumptuously use his sign-off each night, in feeble tribute, I have utterly no claim to the words of the exemplary journalist Edward R. Murrow.

But never in the trial of a thousand years of writing could I come close to matching how he phrased a warning to an earlier generation of us, at a time when other politicians thought they (and they alone) knew everything, and branded those who disagreed: “confused” or “immoral.”

Thus, forgive me, for reading Murrow, in full:

“We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty,” he said, in 1954. “We must remember always that accusation is not proof, and that conviction depends upon evidence and due process of law.”

“We will not walk in fear, one of another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason, if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine, and remember that we are not descended from fearful men, not from men who feared to write, to speak, to associate, and to defend causes that were for the moment unpopular.”

And so good night, and good luck.

(video is courtesy of Crooks And Liars)

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Enjoyed Reflected

The Fifth Horseman Returns: Lamprey Systems Back Online

The first two years of my online life didn’t involve chatting or the web, but merely downloading all the shareware I could possibly find.

Out of the hundreds of games I downloaded, the shareware author who stood out the most was Robert Carr of Lamprey Systems. Robert was (and presumably still is) a member of the Church Of Subgenius. He produced some of the most fucked up software you could ever find, especially when you are the tender age of 15. Example: one of the games, Operation Rescue promised to “put the fun back in abortion”. The rest is left as an exercise for the reader.

Robert once said in an interview that his philosophy was as follows:

1. Scare and offend normal people.
2. Subvert their children.
3. Provide comfort to the weird.

He pretty much succeeded on all fronts. #2 I can personally vouch for; Lamprey served a key role in my personal subversion and eventual cultural awakening, as it were.
Around 2000, Lamprey disappeared from the Internet. Third-party archives that housed the games dried up, as most of those sorts of sites tend to do. About once a year, I would search for anything relating to the company, and about all I found over the last six years was a single interview with Robert.

That is, until today, when I found that Lamprey had been reborn a few months ago. (If you can’t figure out that the site is NSFW given the above, the rest of the post is going to go over your head.) LS was not just reborn with the same Classic apps that were there before (although they are still there), but with two OS X apps.

The first, [**MacJesusX**](http://www.macjesusx.com/) (aka *MacJesus Gold Millenium Extreme*), is the third major revision of the originally offensive MacJesus. MacJesus is like [ELIZA](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ELIZA), only deified. Now OS X native and with 102% more blastphemy, MacJesusX is the only savior you need.

The second, [**Transmaniacon**], is not much of an app, but: imagine the brain loading sequence from *The Matrix*. Now replace all the images with the bizarre. That’s the basic idea.

There’s plenty more to the Lamprey site if you’ve never been – the [collection of death threats and hate mail](http://www.lamprey-systems.com/death.shtml) is an endless pile of laughter and tears. I’ll let you explore the rest on your own.

While I was going through the site, I noticed that Robert’s goal was on the [FUQ page](http://www.lamprey-systems.com/carr.shtml): “I want to offend one portion of the population while making another laugh. I want to put a smile on the face of everybody’s who’s bored and horrified with this society.” I’m trying not to wax too philosophical about a software company that made a piece of software called “F*CK ‘EM!” (subtitle: *All That’s Missing Is U!*), but here goes:

The world right now is, for lack of a better term, pretty fucked. I will spare you a long linked list of political blunders, socioeconomic crises, and religious zealotry – let’s just agree that the world is not a wonderful place right now. We are ruled by terror and faith rather than sanity and thought. When the plot from *V For Vendetta* seems plausable, folks, we’re heading downhill fast.

Entities like Lamprey buck this trend. It’s not just Lamprey – there are plenty of other challenges to common perceptions, like Kirby Dick and Eddie Schmidt’s new film, or (to some extent) the entire body of the Colbert Report. Point is: we need independent minds to provide the means – be they shocking, controversial, or just outright funny – to open more minds.

With this in mind, I can firmly say I’ve never been so excited to see one web site return online in all my life.