Author: Dan Dickinson

Categories
Created Puzzled Over

Newspaper Of Record

Via Slice:

**Detroit Free Press: [Feel like a Domino’s pizza? Order it online](http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070731/BUSINESS/70731027)**

Newspaper Of Record
A One Act Play
Based On Imagined But Plausible Events
By Dan Dickinson


CURTAIN UP:


INT. DETROIT FREE PRESS NEWSROOM.  SUMMER, 2007


THREE REPORTERS sit at desks in an otherwise empty newsroom.  They all intently stare at their computers.  A clock audibly ticks.


REPORTER A sighs, stands up, and stretches to crack his back.



REPORTER A  
Hey, what have you guys got for stories today?




REPORTER B  
(barely looking up)  
I got nothing.




REPORTER C  
Me neither.



REPORTER A kicks the air.



REPORTER A  
(sighing)  
God damnit.  We need to put something in the paper today.  Can't have a paper without stories!




REPORTER B  
Yeah, yeah, we know.




REPORTER C  
(checking his watch)  
Hey, it's almost lunch time.  Whatdya guys want?




REPORTER A  
We did chinese yesterday - how about pizza.  Maybe some Dominos.




REPORTER B  
Alright, let me order it online.




REPORTER C  
(slightly astonished)  
Wow, I didn't know you could order Dominos online.



There is a BEAT.



REPORTER A  
(putting finger into the air and yelling triumphantly)  
PRINT IT!



CURTAIN FALLS.


FIN.
Categories
Happened

Shoes Blues

One thing I will never get over, as long as I live in NYC, is the rate at which one goes through pairs of shoes.

Blame it on the endless cement sidewalks, or the long platforms of the MTA, or the constant standing and waiting in lines. Blame it on the way my feet are shaped, or the way I walk if you’d like. Whatever the actual cause, my shoe replacement interval has continuously shortened over the last four years.

For instance: In mid-April, I bought a nice pair of brown leather dress shoes for work. I’m not normally much for brown shoes, but these looked quite nice, and I actually got a few compliments about my footware for once.

Within the first two days, the neat design on the soles had completely chipped off under my desk, leaving a fantastic mess.
Three weeks in, and the heel had already started to wear down, revealing wood.

3 Weeks In

Now, three and a half months later, I was forced to replace them today. Three and a half months was generous – I probably should have replaced them a month ago. But, in an effort to ride out this issue, I keep on going, until they looked like this:

Shoes Blues

Just to point out what is likely obvious: not only had 20% of the heel worn away, but parallel holes had opened up in the middle of where the ball of my foot rests. The one resembling a bullet hole on my right shoe was significant enough that I could still feel it after I took my shoe off.

There are many things in life that I will make a remark about getting what you pay for. Shoes are not one of these things. In NYC, it is nearly impossible to get a fair return on your shoe investment.

Categories
Found

Give Me Back My Son

[Via Will Hines](http://www.willhines.net/2007/07/31/give-me-back-my-son/), a terribly delightful improv warmup game that pays tribute to Mel Gibson:

(Warning: Video contains a lot of overacting and yelling.)

Will explains:

> So the warm-up works like this: everyone stands in a circle except one in the middle. That person approaches someone in the outer circle and demands “Give me back my son!” with complete dramatic commitment — inspired by Mel Gibson’s over-dramatic delivery in the movie Ransom — trying to get the outer circle person to laugh. It’s to practice emotional commitment and also making your teammates laugh — two valuable skills.