The Return Of The eMoo – Milk with bubbles reaches market
Let me tell you my two milk soft drink non-stories.
A few years ago, Cornell introduced eMoo, as mentioned in the article. I, at one point, was in the Dairy Store grabbing lunch, when I saw a bottle of eMoo in the cold case.
Carbonated milk has this terrible, terrible property. It falls into the That’s Just Too Weird category, that magical category with flavored fries, pudding in a tube, and modern marvels such as these. It also falls into the Maybe This Is Practical category – like Mayostard. Or Mustayonnaise. </mrshow>
So I had this very out of body experience where I purchased a bottle of eMoo. My body was going “Hmm, this could potentially revolutionize the way in which we look at milk.” My mind was going “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING, IT’S ORANGE MILK.” (I was purchasing Orange Creamsicle eMoo, you see.)
So I brought it back to my office, stared at it questioningly for a few minutes, and then began to drink it.
The only word I can think to describe it is “adequate”. It wasn’t vomit-inducing, but it wasn’t fantastic. The carbonation wasn’t overwhelming, but it wasn’t really notable either. It certainly bore enough of a resemblance to orange creamsicles, but not enough to make me think I heard the ice cream man outside my window.
What was strange was that after this day, I never once again saw a bottle of eMoo anywhere on campus. That is, to this day, the only bottle of eMoo I had ever seen. I kept it on my desk just to remind myself that this wasn’t a hallucination.
So let me just say this – carbonated milk is not nearly the exciting revolution in beverages people are making it out to be. Nor is it the ultimate failure of society in an attempt to get kids to get calcium into their systems. It’s just milk with bubbles in it.

The other story isn’t a story so much as a review – when I’m at Wegmans for dinner, I find myself frequently picking up INTENSE VANILLA MILK from Upstate Farms. It is a god among milk-based beverages. It is the best vanilla milk you will ever have.
I still need to try the chocolate, though.
This ends my blog impersonation of A Knowledge For Thirst.