Matrix Reloaded Abridged Script

The Editing Room – The Matrix Reloaded: The Abridged Script
I’ve always loved Rod Hilton’s abridged movie scripts, and this one is sheer perfection.

KEANU REEVES: Wait, you’re a program right? So some machine actually specifically programmed you and gave you the ability to be jealous, conniving, and spiteful?
MONICA BELLUCI: Not only that, but they made me a hornball. I will only help if you make out with me.
LAURENCE FISHBURNE: What? It’s bad enough that the agents no longer pose any threat at all, but now these are the kind of obstacles we must overcome to save Zion? Make out with Monica Belluci? What will we have to do next, eat our way through a prison wall made of chocolate?