The Friday Five from last week got me thinking about celebrities who irritate me. Indeed, it does seem like there are a lot of them.
There’s been one in the back of my mind that sort of nags at me every now and then – getting not just scorn and hatred from me, but also waves of pity.
And lo and behold, this past Easter Sunday, as I was being subjected to the Bob Hope special on NBC, in between all the third-tier NBC stars (HEY BOB HOPE – THE CAST OF HIDDEN HILLS WISHES YOU A HAPPY 100TH. YOU CARE, RIGHT?) sending their regards, and after Bruce Villanch finished babbling about the Oscars, I laid my eyes on this poor soul again.
Yes, friends, I’m talking about Martin Short and/or Jiminy Glick.
You know Martin Short, right? He was on SCTV. He was in Father Of The Bride, Three Amigos, Innerspace, and much more forgettably, Clifford and Captain Ron. He, for many years, was one of those guys where you think “Hey, yeah, Martin Short, he’s kind of funny, isn’t he?”
So at some point, in 99 apparently, someone said “Hey, let’s give him a talk show!”, and he did all these crazy characters and like most celebrity talk shows, it was canceled quickly.
But somewhere, deep down in the depths of Television Programming Hell, someone was thinking. Someone was going “Hmmm, Comedy Central really needs ANOTHER talk show.” And then, this same person made the sort of decision that would lead us down to the lowest circles: that this talk show should be hosted by a CHARACTER from the above-mentioned previously canceled Martin Short Show.
This is the sort of decision-making level that kept Arli$$ on the air for 6 seasons despite no one watching it. You know what spinning off characters leads to? Superstar. The Ladies Man. Stuart Smalley. I pray to god I don’t need to go on.
Apparently there’s advertising for an ALL NEW SEASON starting soon, as well as a movie listed on IMDB as being in post production. Save me, Jebus.
The part that really gets me is, I can’t think of any time since Primetime Glick has appeared on the air that anyone has said “HA HA HA THAT JIMINY GLICK IS REALLY FUNNY” in any range of my hearing. I’ve heard groans, watched eyerolls, and had people tell me “This is the worst show I’ve ever seen”, but I’ve never been witness to anyone enjoying it.
What’s the problem? Well, primarily, that it’s a guy in a fat suit with a funny voice. Like I said, you don’t spin off characters, especially when they have no depth. On top of that, the show is like one giant ironic inside joke. The “point”, I’ve been told, is that Glick “assaults” his guests by “ignoring” them. I still don’t get how that works. There’s a ridiculously long bio about him at Comedy Central’s website, but this all brings me back to the same question – why on earth should I care about this character, and why is he supposed to be funny?
Maybe I’m all hot and bothered about this because it reminds me too much of Master of Disguise. But when I laugh more at phooning than I do at Glick, you KNOW something is wrong.