If I Read Any More Fanfiction, I Will Be Driven To Murder

There are certain words in the English vocabulary that were never, ever, EVER meant to go together.
“Tropical” and “Ithaca”.
“Intelligent” and “redneck”.
“Funny” and “Everybody Loves Raymond”.
“Talented” and “Pauly Shore”.
I’m not talking oxymorons, I’m talking things that are wrong on a fundamental level in society.
We’ve got another two words: DDR Fanfiction
I had feared, for as long as I’ve been playing, that something like this existed, but not until now have I actually stared death in the face and stuck my tongue out so derisively as I do today.
Where to start? There’s the crowning jewel, the utterly terrible support group, featuring every Square Soft, DBZ, and even some Tolkien characters in history. The number of things in here that made me want to put my fist through my head are practically limitless.
There’s poorly written scifi about someone making DDR robots. A Q&A session with the characters (of course, nearly all of these revolve around the “characters”). One that should be entitled “Sl1p’s Nightmare” about the characters going to Walmart.
I swear, I haven’t laughed enough over a story about the “Announcer Dude” which contains a magical start to chapter 2: “Ari was promptly woken up by pressure on her butt.”
And folks, it gets worse. From copying and pasting step grades to things to laugh about that aren’t funny to true life stories to the worst attempts to adapt Alice In Wonderland and A Midsummer’s Night Dream to what I guess is a poem about how it’s not just a game.
Of course, it’s not just DDR fanfiction here; there’s fanfiction for most any game you could imagine. 294 for Harvest Moon. 39 for Pong. 6 for Parappa. 983 for Super Smash Brothers.
I have lost all faith in the youth of the world.