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Some Movie Reviews

I’ve seen a lot lately, so I might as well make some recommendations. Wacky format for you geeky hipsters out there.
IF you like coming of age movies
AND you can’t stand Ryan Phillipe
GO RENT The Dangerous Lives Of Choir Boys – which was equally enjoyable, has the Darko-tacular Jenna Malone in it, and despite some overblown animated sequences, is on a whole very good.
ELSE
IF you have a fetish for Catcher In The Rye
GO SEE Igby Goes Down – Jeff Goldblum does a wonderful job, and it’s good to see Claire Danes again, but something struck me as being off about this movie, and the easiest thing to point at is Mr. Phillipe (how is he pronouncing it these days? Fill-eeep? Fill-eep-ay? Filleeep-ay? Fillip?)
IF you need a laugh
AND you like to be weirded out
GO SEE Secretary – beautiful movie, extremely funny, great work from Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader, and while it does have that whole bizarre perversion thing going on, these two make it believable.
ELSE
IF you can deal with stand up movies
GO RENT Notorious C.H.O. – Margaret Cho is funny as always.
IF you have a brain
AND you like to think
GO SEE Bowling for Columbine – no explanation needed.
IF you’re in the mood for something a little mindless but still thouroughly enjoyable
AND you have nearly 3 hours to kill
GO SEE Harry Potter & The Chamber Of Secrets – it was better than the first one, and honestly, the series is translating fine into movies, so I don’t see what all this talk about “drastic measures being needed” for the next movie is about.