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Poor, Poor Fred Durst

Metallica’s righteous ‘Anger’ tops crumbling Bizkit
There’s nothing that makes my day more than hearing about people pissing off the worst band in recent memory.

The metaphorical fireworks started much earlier, however, when heckling fans induced a profane tantrum from Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst and the band quit playing after just 20 minutes.
It was easy to predict a rough reception for the rap-rock has-beens when a significant segment of the crowd booed a mention of the band by previous openers Linkin Park. When Limp Bizkit actually appeared around 7 o’clock, the boos intensified, and some fans pelted the stage with garbage.
The famously brainless Durst only fanned the flames, first encouraging the catcalls and flying trash, then swerving into a bizarre tirade against the crowd and city. Ranting that he’d fight anyone in earshot and spluttering explicit sexual putdowns, uncreative curses and ludicrous homophobic slurs, Durst simply self-destructed. Had the villain in “The Wizard of Oz” been a vile little boob like Durst rather than a snarly old lady in greenface, the movie’s “I’m melting!” scene might have looked like this.
The crowd, perhaps stunned, calmed down, and Limp Bizkit played a few more songs (including a sarcastic, gay-bashing cover of George Michael’s “Faith” with potty-mouth lyrics that would embarrass a fourth-grader). But then the band left the stage and Durst resumed his vulgar invective from the wings until, mercifully, he was relieved of the microphone.
The aborted set left fans to wait more than 90 minutes for Metallica, but the mood never turned ugly–maybe because a lengthy delay was better than suffering through any more Limp Bizkit.
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Friday Five

Peter warned me this morning that the Friday Five is hitting a rough patch, as he skipped last week and this week. While I agree last week was ridiculous (When was the last time you cheated/lied/stole? This is a blog, not a confessional), this week I can work with. I think. FIVE HO!
1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
Ripping off an Asletics song title – The Sweetest Savage. Has a nice ring to it, I think.
2. What songs would be on the soundtrack?
Nothing that currently exists. See, in my infinite nerdism, I would want to do it ala the Spawn soundtrack. While that particular soundtrack was largely crap, it was the “pair up two artists” thing that intrigued me. So I would want to pair up artists that I listen to a lot and see what comes out. Tiger Yamato and Trent Reznor. DJ Shadow and dj TAKA. TaQ and Guster. DJ Krush and Aphex Twin. good-cool and Gorillaz. Asletics and Coldplay. The Streets and Akira Yamaoka. And so on – hey, I’m dreaming here.
3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why?
Animated. More explicitly, animated by Steve Tze. Come on – why do you think the only picture of myself I have readily available is the one that Steve drew me? He is my god.
4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc?
Well, if it was animated, we could all voice ourselves, I guess.
5. Describe the movie preview/trailer.
I think it’d be appropriate to just pipe all my ethernet traffic into a window, and run it Matrix-style. Splice that in with “action shots”, and run R5 in the background, and you’re set.

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Mike Jasper Returns

I’m quite happy to report that Mike Jasper’s ConstantCommentary has returned after a far-too-long absence.
If you’ve never heard me wax poetic about Mike before, he is one of the funniest and most under-appreciated writers/comedians/songwriters I’ve ever had the chance to appreciate. Do yourself a favor – dig around the archives. Alternately, be lazy and just read the top picks. Alternately, just be REALLY lazy and just read some excerpts.
Good to have you back, Mike.