The Cheese: John Tucker Must Die, Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Yes, every now and then I need to see some cheesy movies that I go into expecting the worst, and these were two of those type of movies.
John Tucker Must Die
I've been told it's a poor take on Heathers. Thing is, I haven't seen Heathers (yet). So I'm gonna base this on what I have seen. The closest things I could compare it to would be something along the lines of 10 Things I Hate About You and Mean Girls. Combine those two, remove most of the quality writing, add some more crude humor, remove more of the plot, and then you have John Tucker. It's not a terrible movie, it's just it's what you'd expect from a teen comedy, and nothing more. If you've seen any of the previews you pretty much get the whole story. However the idea that one guy could date three women at once, all in the same high school, without any of them knowing is a giant stretch. When the hottest boy in school is seen out with anyone the rumors start to fly. When he's spotted with three of the hottest girls in school the rumor mills would be flying off the hook. Plus, since when is the AV geek the hottest girl in school? And since when would the star jock even consider dating her? And high school white boys like him can't dunk. Come on. But as in all teen comedies, suspend reality and you might get a few laughs. Just don't expect anything special out of this one. It basically has Netflix written all over it.
RATING: Worth the Dollar Theatre, Worth a Netflix (it's almost the definition of the dirty little netflix movies you get and enjoy without wanting anyone else to know you actually have it on your list)
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Get in trouble totally a house and two cars and they send you to Tokyo? Where can I sign up for this?!? Yes, that is the main premise of how out "hero" gets into the Tokyo driving scene. Was I expecting anything other than some cool driving out of this one? Hell no. Did I get anything else out of it? Not really. So, mission accomplished. The attempts to put a story into this movie are almost laughable. No let me take that back, they are laughable. But really, who goes to something like this for the story? It's like going to see a Schwarzenegger movie for the tear jerking ending. No, you go to those to see Arnold kick some ass, and say some really rediculous line in his Austrian accent ("It's not a tuma'!"). And Tokyo Drift did deliver on the driving. As much as I admire the crossword people from Word Play, I also admire the drivers from this movie (I don't mean or Texan hero, I mean the actual stunt drivers). But the end where our Texan loser (I'm just assuming he's supposed to be Texan from his accent, which oddly neither of his parents share even a hint of) races the Yakuza nephew for his freedom? Oh god. What a terrible turn in a terrible story. Yes, 40 and 50 year old mob guys are gonna say "sure, let's just have you race to see if I'll let you go!" But the one good part (other than the driving) has to be Sung Kang (previously of Better Luck Tomorrow), who has to be one of my favorite Asian-American actors. His cool, "I could give a shit" attitude is just fantastic. And oddly enough, in everything I see him in he seems to be called Han. Way to go on the creativity side of things writers! I think he's about the only part of the story that I liked. He's just always so mellow and cool.
Side notes:
- Zachery Ty Bryan sighting! Woo!
- Bow Wow, please have Xzibit pimp that rediculous ride of yours
- Sonny Chiba! Ultimate cameo. If not for...
- Vin Diesel. Enough said.
RATING: Worth the Dollar I Paid For It (Nothing More), Worth a Netflix Rental.