Smart Animals vs. Stupid People
Don't ask me why, but lately I've been toying with the idea of going vegetarian for a while. I'm not really sure where the idea came from, and it's certainly not a moral thing. Anyone who really knows me knows that I don't have any moral qualms with eating animals (hell I don't have many moral qualms with most things). In fact I'm even more than open to eating dolphins, monkeys, or any of that other "smart" animals that we're not supposed to eat. I know, I know. How can I eat animals that are possibly smarter than some humans? So what. In fact I say lets take a page from Swift, and then take that page even further, and eat those stupid humans as well! (They're solient-licious!) But I digress...
As I was saying, I've thought about becoming a vegetarian for a while. In fact I've toyed with the idea of veganism (I mean I can't have dairy anyway). But I think if I do give it a shot I'll just stick to eliminating meat for the time being. Why have I thought about this? Maybe it's my desire to be and eat healthier (ha!). Or maybe it's from all my contact with (attractive) vegetarian and vegan women (a little more likely). Or maybe staring over at the Nature's Marketplace section at work all the time, trying to check out the cute girl who works there, has gotten me thinking about it. But most likely all of those things have just come together and made me wonder if I could actually do it, and what it would be like.
I think that it would be an interesting change and experiment to see what vegetarian life is like. And I'm sure that I could easily do it, for a while at least. I mean I've given up fast food (about 8 years and counting), demin (over 10 years since I last wore jeans), alcohol (for a period of just over 3 years), and numerous other things that I can't even think of. What's to stop me from eating meat for a couple weeks? The hardest part would probably be not eating "samples" that I've "accidentally" over-sliced at work. But after working in a deli for too long the smell of most deli meats makes you a little ill. Having to slice that 97% Fat Free Boiled Ham does make me nauseous. But then again there is just something wrong with pink, squishy ham that comes in a giant block.
If I do decide to partake in this experiment for a couple of weeks it will probably have to be soon, or wait for a while. I don't plan on having any vegetarian ways for Neils wedding in July. I just couldn't bring myself to avoid meats while in NYC. Plus if I do it I doubt I'll be too rigid about it (beef broth in my soup? eh, who cares).
However, this being America, and me being the gambler that I am, I am more than willing to take bets regarding how long I will last in the vegetarian world. I'm even up for a side pot concerning a vegan lifestyle (although that'd probably be a much shorter timeframe, especially if we're being technical).