Slowly Learning...

"They're about God hundred of years ago. Not about God now."
"But God doesn't change."
"Men do, though."
"What difference does that make?"
"All the difference in the world."

So we're always changing. From day to day we're all experiencing new things, growing, and maturing (well most of us are maturing). I've gone through it all myself. In fact I've posted about it from time to time. I've also been thinking about it more and more recently. Thinking about the biggest changes in me and my life, and the people involved in them. And I've come to the basic conclusion that they've all occured during the times of my relationships. So, let's start at the beginning...

Christine

The nearly two years that we were together were also my first two years of college. I went through so many changes and new experiences during that time. It was my first time away from home and on my own. And my times with Christine were an array of firsts as well. She was my first girlfriend, my first love, and my first breakup, along with so many other things. During our time together I learned so many new things and started my growth into adulthood.

Sabra

I started dating Sabra towards the end of my 3rd year of college, or sometime during that summer, we were never really clear on a starting date to the relationship. What I do know though is that year we were together was one of the roughest I've had to work through. She was there for my major breakdown, attempted medication phase (doctor prescribed), my withdrawl from Cornell, Allen's death, and everything that came along with it. She was there and supportive through all of it. Her era was a trying time that helped shape me into what I've become. Sometimes I wish that it could have all been different, because I know that it all took a major toll on our relationship, but I don't know where I would have ended up without her there. It was a rough time that may have crushed our relationship, but it did make us a lot closer. To this day she still remains one of my best friends, and is still the person I go to whenever I have problems.

Steff

Steff is quite easily the strangest of my relationships. Not only does she stand out from the other women in appearance (she was the only of the four to be above 5'2", and the tatoos and piercings do make her stand out a little more), but I can't remember another first date where I also met my date's ex...girlfriend. While there were no major life upheavals going on like in the other cases, I did grow and learn a lot from my time with her. The path our relationship took was a unique one. We started off dating, worked our way into the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, then reverted to an open relationship when we both decided that I wasn't working out as a boyfriend, at which point she also began dating the head lesbian at Cornell, and eventually we parted completely and just became friends. Of course we both knew that that day was coming as she was moving to New York City, and I was headed for 6 months in China. But I experienced a whole new side to life with her and through my time around her. I even still enjoy some of the vegan traits she passed on to me (but not enough of them to actually be vegan, I enjoy meat too much).

Alma

Many of you have already read about Alma and know about my time with her. During my 6 months in China, most of which were spent with her, I feel that I finally grew-up and matured as a man. I came back I actaully felt my age. I no longer felt like that little kid anymore. I'm not saying that I've completely grown-up and am fully ready for adulthood (I'm still far from being prepared for children), and I was still quite childish and immature at times in Beijing (I'm sure she'll attest to that), but I really feel that I've learned from it all and finally incorporated all my past mistakes into my life. As Danny Devito says in Big Kahuna, "you've already done plenty of things to regret...when you see the folly of something you’ve done, and you wish that you had it to do over, but you know you can’t, cause it’s too late...then you will obtain character." And while I try to live without regret, she finally helped me see the folly of some of my ways.

So there you have it. The four major women who changed me. Yes, I know there are plenty of others out there that have had major influences on who I am and who I will become, but these were special circumstances. Maybe the girls themselves didn't do anything in particular to bring about the changes, maybe they were just in the right place at the right time, or maybe the changes are all in my head and have been constantly evolving bit by bit. But these are still the times and women that I will always associate with my growth.

And why am I even bothering to share all this? I'm not really sure. Most of you that read this probably already know most of this. You've heard my stories, you might have even experienced them. I guess, much like my other personal posts, I do it to remember these times myself, and to share some small, intimate pieces of my life with those of you who care to listen.