Slowly Learning...

Dan's new site may be named after a song no one has heard of, but it
brings up a more disturbing point as well. It's something that
frightens me, as I'm sure it frigthens many of you as well. I am of
course talking about a real VJ Army. Imagine, hordes of Carson Dailys
marching throughtout the land. What would be extremely terrifying would
be a platoon of that freak Jesse the viewers eleceted a while back, but
I think we're safe from him, he's faded well into obscurity. What all
of you may not realize though is that this army of VJs already exists.
In fact, the army as been around for years. My sources say it stems
from the Kenedy era of MTV, but it may go back even further. In fact,
the majority of cloning research was done at MTV. How else could they
amass such a powerful force? A couple VJs, while quite frigthening on
their own, would not be enough to take control of the music airwaves.
No, the generals at MTV commissioned a team of geneticists to develope a
cloning procedure to increase their numbers exponentially. But why do
all this? That too is simple. MTV wants total control of the video
airwaves. They want their 5 videos they play a week to be all that the
viewing public sees. The generals at MTV have even been capturing other
stations, and crushing those that will not follow along with their
master plan. A prime example is SpikeTV. How do you think they got
this way? Ages ago, before most of you kiddies were around, Spike was
known as TNN (The Nashville Network) and was a country music video
channel. But unlike VH1 (which is a pussy station that caves under
pressure faster than France during war time), TNN would not give in to
the demands of MTV's army of VJs. Insted they were forced to become The
National Network, and stop playing videos (True MTV no longer plays
videos either, but that's different cause they still have semi-musical
content, sort of). Eventually TNN could no longer stand the shame of
being forced out as they had been, so they revamped completely the form
SpikeTV and start a new life, free from the musical tyranny of MTV. But
old memories die hard, and the executive generals at SpikeTV cannot and
will not forget what happened to them. I believe that they are secretly
forming an underground army of their own, preparing for the day that
they will battle MTV, in hopes of freeing music, and bringing back the
music video to music video channels! Why else would SpikeTV be a
"Network For Men"? It's because they need a large base of strong male
supporters in order to take out the juggernaut that is Music Television,
for the VJ Army grows in numbers everyday as more and more Carson clones
are made. And may God have mercy on our souls when SpikeTV and the VJ
Army finally go head to head in real life clone wars...