Here’s my summary of tonight’s Tinkle, written as quickly and as thoroughly as possible.
Katie was worn out from a hellish work week and her parents visiting, so I went alone. Got to Pianos around 6:45, had a gin & tonic followed by a coke (no dinner means I was actually feeling it for once. Whoo.) Line formed, I was about 10 back. Line snaked down the hallway, back onto itself, and then almost a third time before they started letting us in. I grabbed a seat, ended up going upstairs and selling off my extra ticket, and then coming back downstairs.
Show started at 8:05; video this time was Todd/Jon/David after the Tinkle Booze Cruise saying they would see each other in 4 months, and then staring at each other…and then some gay porn with their heads superimposed. Not as good as the kid who read the poem, but still amusing.
The theme for most of the segments tonight was giving away shitty presents. They were drawing names off the pre-sale list. First present was a twin pack of women’s deodorant. Then an orange golf ball (Jon: “Now go and play some orange golf.”) A guy got one of those menstruation books with a tampon case with a name that alludes me.
First comedian: Some guy pretending to be Native American. Jokes were obscure but funny because of the mannerisms. Crowd was definitely split, though.
Guys were back on for a bit about some Viagra spam David got, not about how women like bigger penises, but how men were surveyed and found not to respect men with smaller penises. Smaller being “5 or 6 inches”. Some improv scenes followed.
Second comedian: Janeane Garofalo. Poor girl was not doing well in terms of material; she had a sheet that she kept referring to, was doing a bit too much current event stuff…some was funny, but most was meh.
Guys back up for more presents. Some people from upstairs get called, and there’s booing because we all paid to get in. Todd gives away a copy of his CD he got back from Amazon because it was damaged, and later snipes at Jon: “Maybe you should do something other than cartoon voices.” They’re giving away presents to people with funny last names, which gives me hope. They try to get someone Jewish, and pick a guy with the last name of Jewfer. He is not Jewish.
Third comedian: The Guy With Tiny Hands. Entire bit revolved around him having tiny hands, which were doll hands he was holding onto and doing “what if so and so had tiny hands? I think it would go like this” and doing a poor impersonation. Not funny on blogpaper, but it was killing the crowd.
Jon and Todd up – they introduce an “author” played by David who has written a self-help book called “Hey Douche”, involving such gems of wisdom like “HEY DOUCHE – AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY”. The last one in his book is “HEY DOUCHE – EAT BEETS, IT TURNS YOUR PEE RED.” One to grow on. A few more presents and we’re off again.
Fourth comedian: Eugene Mirman. He kills everyone with a little current events, a personal recounting of Fleet bank fucking him over, and finishes with a video of a robot. Great stuff.
Guys are on for one last present giveaway before the secret mystery band comes on. I finally get picked. I open it up – it’s Jon Benjamin’s expired Screen Actor’s Guild card. I realize that given the rest of the presents, this is somewhat high up on the cool meter, but doesn’t even touch the bottle of vodka a girl near me won. GO MCGURK.
Mystery band is revealed to be – Yo La Tengo. Score. They did a good set, and I was glad to finally hear them.
Guys come back on one last time, thank us, say they don’t know when the next show will be. I go out into the bar, have Jon sign the SAG card (he had never signed it), and go home happy.