Tag Archives: dvd

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong

It is a rare day where I doff my hat in awe of someone who can create a game that redefines the word “sadistic”, but today is one such day.

As part of a large order from Amazon UK I mentioned in the [earlier QI post](http://vjarmy.com/archives/2007/02/a_bit_obsessed_with_qi.php), I ordered the [QI Interactive DVD Game](http://www.amazon.co.uk/QI-Interactive-Stephen-Fry/dp/B000BHZ1FG/). I’ve spent some time playing it over this terribly long weekend, and I have been both shamed and humbled. The game is terribly, terribly evil, and I wish to illustrate why.

The point of the game is to collect the seven letters hidden on the disc and anagram them into the appropriate word, can then be entered into [the appropriate spot on the QI website](http://qi.com/game/) to be redeemed for a prize of some sort.

I like using OmniGraffle, so I figured the best way to explain how the game works is through diagrams. These little fluffy clouds represent our seven letters.

Each letter is associated with a “door” on the DVD. Each door contains a path which contains fifty multiple choice questions. Each question has four to eight possible answers. So in our diagram, we’ll connect our start point to the end point with an arrow that contains fifty midpoints.

Merely struggling through 50 questions would be tedious but not *interesting*, so to spice things up, some questions have more than one correct answer. A right answer is treated like a right answer – Stephen Fry congratulates you and likely gives you some trivia about why or how your answer is right.

But herein lies the catch. While more than one answer can be considered right, some of them are considerably less *interesting*. And if you choose a less than interesting answer, you will be led through a number of different questions in some other direction to eventually be told that one of your previous answers were not the most interesting, and so you are being unceremoniously dumped *back to the beginning of the leg*.

These are being added to the diagram as red paths ending in pitchforks – although, again, they are not any different from the regular branches in look or feel.

Of course, these multi-answer questions don’t merely appear in the regular track – they appear once you’ve gone off the beaten path as well. Let’s add these in blue:

Oh, yeah, and you have to do this seven times:

Again, this is a simplified diagram – I have no real way of knowing how many false branches their are per path.

So, cheers to the QI elves for probably the most frustrating game since [Takeshi’s Challenge](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqV7e5xLERU). I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

EDITED TO ADD: There is also a fair chance that I’m just bad at these sorts of things and/or have rotten luck. Katie managed to trounce her way through two straight paths without a single misstep. She is an impressive lady.

The Wizard DVD Sucks

Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you with important news.

For a number of people in my generation – plus those generations one above and one below me; people roughly between the ages of 18 and 30 – the impending DVD release of [The Wizard](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0098663/), the 1989 video game opus was welcome news.

I came across a copy of the DVD today, and I nearly squealed in joy to pick it up. The actual release isn’t scheduled until August 29th, and while the store is notorious for breaking street dates, there’s always a rush to get your hands on something early. But something struck me oddly: why was it only $11.99? I turned the DVD over, and noticed very quickly: *there were no extra features listed on the back*.

I bought it anyhow. Hey, $12 for a piece of my youth is chump change – and besides, there might be features on it and they just didn’t list it.

I inserted the disc when I returned home a short while ago and was greated with this menu:

My jaw dropped. Okay, fine, no special features, but…no scene select?

I clicked Languages with the slightest hint of hope. It was quickly eliminated.

So congratulations, Universal Studios Home Video – you had a chance to do some serious cult-market long-tail sales with this film. People wanted commentaries with Jenny Lewis and Fred Savage, making-of information, **anything**. And you blew it. You didn’t get the star.

And if you don’t believe me and my screenshots, Rotten Tomatoes confirms it.

I cannot love this DVD. It’s so bad – in the exact opposite way of the Power Glove. Fellow gamers, heed this warning well – The Wizard DVD will break your heart.