Honestly, Gamepro, What The Fuck

I have a few free subscriptions to some magazines – they generally provide me with about 30 minutes of entertainment when they come in.
After going through the new EGM this morning, I pulled open the new Gamepro tonight, and started thumbing through it. I find a section on the DS, and read this about Mr. Driller (emphasis mine):

“It’s Mr. Driller…need more? One of the best Tetris variations ever made is a perfect fit in any handheld format (see the GBA version).”

Okay, ignoring the whole GBA-version-didn’t-come-out-in-the-US (although it’s been announced now – way to localize that four years too late, Namco!), “best Tetris variation”? What in the living fuck is that supposed to mean? Has anyone at Gamepro played Mr. Driller – or for that matter, Tetris? One’s a pure puzzle game – and the other one is a twitchy action game with some puzzle elements! Holy shit, they’re like gaming twins.
So I thought this was as stupid as it could get – and then I turned the page.
There’s a description of Ping Pals, and I shit you not, the quickie synopsis reads:

The Buzz: This could be the type of eccentric game you were expecting for the DS.

Ping Pals, for those that don’t know, is a “game” that tries to one-up Nintendo’s built-in chatting functionality but instead is somehow worse, despite actually costing you money. IGN gave it a 3.5, Gamespot notched it at 3.3, and EGM gave it a 1.5/0.0/0.0, managing an average of 0.5.
They also called Sprung “goofy and more fun than you’d think”.
I’m so happy this was a free subscription, but I’ll be even happier when it expires in April.

  • http://www.livejournal.com/~herbieIIDX Herbie

    What? No ProTip jokes?

  • http://adam.theficus.com Adam Meltzer

    While I don’t think it’s a like complete 180-degree stretch to call it a “Tetris variation,” since, you know, both involve blocks dropping to create sequences that make them go away. Perhaps it’s more of a “Columns variation.”
    Still. It’s a pretty dumb thing to say in a magazine. Then again, I lost respect for GamePro about 12 years ago when they would never explain the difference between a ProView and ProReview. I still have the #1 issue sitting around here somewhere, believe it or not. I should scan it and put it on my web site sometime.