As usual, I didn’t watch the MTV Video Music Awards. Nor will I watch the 1,244,281,729 back-to-back repeats of it. I mean, what a huge shock that The Song That You Never Saw The Video Of That Covered The Other Song You Never Saw The Video Of didn’t win. I fully expect They Might Be Giants to be nominated next year and everyone to think that’s totally legitimate. You see, They Might Be Giants do indeed rock, and they certainly make good videos, but if you ever see someone at MTV tell you that, they are high. Katie turned it on for about fifteen seconds, and I saw Kelly Osbourne giving Duran Duran a Lifetime Achievement Award. Someone at MTV obviously has a good sense of irony. In any case, there is one positive thing to come out of all of this. Due to a poorly executed attempt to be “shocking” and “hip” by Britney Spears, Katie has finally hit her breaking point and has purged everything Britney from the house. All MP3s, gone. Bookmarks, gone. Stages book, gone. Britney’s Dance Beat, actually we sold that back a couple days ago. I can’t stop crying. Buckets of tears. OF RELIEF.